Friday, June 13, 2008

{...because someone's gotta say it...}

Two posts in one day? It MUST be Friday the 13th.

Unfortunately, this post isn't going to be as funny as my last. I'm just not feeling very funny anymore. I warn you, I am medicated which means I am feeling chatting which means instead of taking it out on Leslie or my Mom, I'm going to take it out on the blogosphere.

All while watching 'Emril Live.' God bless cable...and the food channel.

Whaaaa? Emril has a band? Why the heck (oh goll, mormon swears) does a chef who hosts his own insanely lame cooking show need a band? I know, you are asking, 'If it's so lame, why are you watching it?' Listen to Jim Gaffigan then ask me.

You know what's gross to me? Serving a whole lobster on a plate. I'm all about meat, not a vegetarian in any way shape or form, but seriously, that's like serving a whole fish on a plate in the middle of the table. Me thinks I see a little tear coming out of the fishes eye. Oh dear, Jim Gaffigan again.

Who doesn't like bacon rapped scallops right?

Why are 97% of the chefs on the larger side of the scale? I should be a chef. Then people would wonder why I was obese, or think I'm knocked up. Now that's embarrassing.

Wow, not only have my last three sentences started with a letter than begins with the letter 'w,' but I'm asking some deep, life changing questions.

Seriously, this Emeril guy is bragging about how beautiful his scallops are. He is also trying to make funny 'food jokes' which isn't working. He should take a lesson from my man Jim Gaffigan.

I have no plugged that comedian three times. I should get paid to blog.

Sigh, I love blogging. I love writing blogs, reading blogs, stalking blogs, talking about blogs with people who also blog, forcing people who don't have blogs to get one (I use force if I have to) and I'm completely okay with shunning anyone who doesn't blog. If you don't blog but read mine, that's acceptable too.

So like I mentioned in the earlier post, it's been an insane week. Particularly the past two days. I have been going and going and while I love being that busy I really pay for it in the end. I completely crash physically, emotionally, in all ways 'ally.' This can be good and bad. It's good because that's what I need. I need to be busy, feel needed, have projects. It keeps my mind off the struggles I'm dealing with. As most of you know it's a good way to cope. After my miscarriage last August I went back to work the next day and I went NUTS. I would stay late at work...

...now wait, why in the world is this audience laughing at his horrible jokes...

...to finish projects that didn't necessarily need to be finished that day. It really helped me move through that experience. I was much more resilient back then. Now when I crash physically, I completely crash emotionally. For the past 24 hours I haven't thought much about infertility. At least not in ways that would make me cry or hurt inside. Well, I get home, I eat some Cafe Rio, and all of a sudden I'm full of tears, I can't think straight, my heart hurts, blah blah blah blah.

Infertility sucks.

I am thankful that the past 24 hours have been 'infertility free' but now it's all flooding back.

Ain't no white cracka gonna make jambalaya. That seems wrong. Seriously, this guy looks like Pres Bush about fifty pounds heavier with worse writers. You know, I should have my own show. I don't know what would be the premise of said show, but I bet it would kick arse.

This half way swearing isn't going to do it for me. There is just something about comedic swears that makes me so happy. Using worse like 'heck' and 'arse' just make me seem like a pansy.

Why in the world am I putting a space between almost every sentence?

Um, I can only be funny for so long, and I am pretty sure that humor ended somewhere in my last post, so it's probably time for me to let you go. Plus I am drifting in and out of sleep to the soft tunes of Emril's band.

Good luck understanding this post readers.

Sigh, I want a baby.

2 comments:

Erin said...

Kenna, I just want to you know that I ALWAYS want to write a comment to every post, but I never know what to say. I am afraid that what I will say will just make it worse, because I know those cliches don't help at all. Just know that I think of you often and I have learned a lot from you. Everytime I write a post about my baby or pregnancy on my blog I think of you and I really hope it doesn't hurt you. I hope you get your baby really soon. And if you had a show I would watch it everyday.

Lisa Shumway said...

Hey Mckenna!
I just want you to know that you are wrong. I think this post was much funnier than the previous one! You must be drugged! I love ya!

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