Tuesday, June 24, 2008

{...intoxicated...}

I chose the wrong day to quit drinking.

Or pill popping.

Or whatever.

Today I was pulled over on my way home from work. This has ceased to cause a rise, as I can't count (read, 'remember') the number of times I have been pulled over. Actually, I enjoy traffic school. It's a riot! So, the first thought that ran through my swollen brain after I saw the flashing lights was, 'This is gonna be an awesome story for a new post. I haven't had anything to write about.' Then I thought, 'Traffic School! Classic!' I can't believe they are still offering me traffic school. I seem to 'luck out' and only get pulled over once per town per year. Rock on.

In my defense, I sped up to pass a car (that was going 10 under the speed limit) so I could get into the right lane so I could turn into the Costco parking lot. Doesn't this cop understand that I need my drugs? I could die! It was hilarious though, as I had the pill bottles strewn on my seat. So I was going ten over and yeah yeah, speeding is speeding. I thought about pulling some tears and a babbling brain surgery, I'm mildly depressed story, but I just didn't have the energy. I tossed the ticket into my glove box, that is that.

I. Do. Not. Care.

I have bigger fish to fry.

So, what is up with Eminem's mom? This woman ignored him pretty much his entire life, didn't give a sh%! about him, and as soon as he makes it big she (and the rest of his family I might add) come running with lawsuits in hand. Yes, this was like 7 or 8 years ago, and of course Eminem (read, 'crazy white boy') isn't the only example, I'm just watching THS (read, 'waste of my evening') and I gotta take Em's side on this. It's pathetic. Mom, when I publish my book and make millions no need to sue me, I'll give you as much as you want, okay?

I don't want anyone slandering my name but me, got it?

7 comments:

Trent & Janel Lyman said...

Yeah...that would be my husband going 10 UNDER the speed limit, it drives me bonkers!!! I used to point it out to him, but that just made him mad, now I just look to see if there is anyone behind us getting pissed, and if there is I kindly remind him what the speed limit is...and that you should always go 5 OVER.
Thanks for coming along on the chocolate run!

Annie O said...

nice emk. there are cameras in toledo that catch speeders- you'd hate it. You actually have to be going 11 over to get ticketed, though. I've never been to traffic school- and kind of have always wanted to go.
oh, and my rugrat is finally breathing again
so- lets hang out! when are you working usually? I am carless but on most days can hitch a ride into O-town.

Kent and Leisy said...

so, that posted as my mom. sorry, it's just me, leisy.

lauren said...

i think the only way a utah county cop would let anybody out of a ticket is... actually, nothing comes to mind. my least favorite bishop during my byu years was a cop, and a total jerk.

and yeah, eminem's mom is totes effed up... but they're white trash from the trailer park, so what can we expect really, other than dysfunction? ;)

Erin said...

If I remember correctly, Costco is on the same road as the police station, yes?

Bummer.

Kimberly said...

Oh Snap add another stop at traffic school, you should ask if they have a frequent flyer card and they let you out early or something :)

Erin said...

I love that you don't care. I thought traffic school was mostly entertaining too. I think i've had to go twice..

Related Posts with Thumbnails