Tuesday, August 19, 2008

{...i feel cheated...}

Cliff notes : The Olympics are bogus and I am now seemingly racist against China. Comedy galore, and I'm thinking about having some drunken sex.

It seems I am not giving my peeps what they desire (a new post) and in fear of losing even more readers I shall give you more musings from my disturbed mind. Eat 'em up.

First and foremost I would like to lodge a formal complaint with China. Um, I don't know how to put this delicately but ya'll are cheaters. In moments like this I usually throw out the phrase 'douche bag' but I thought that was a little too harsh. I find it odd that I'm so worked up about this, but I have been completely livid over the past week. The Olympics, in theory, are supposed to be unbiased and fair, crowning the best of the best with gold. This is not the case, of course, and it has been insanely evident during this years games. China has been taking a slew of medals in gymnastics, but many of them are not at all deserved. You canNOT tell me that all of the members of China's team are the age of 16 and older. Call me crazy folks, but I call a huge BS on that. Half these girls haven't even starting growing boobs yet! Then for the individual vault finals, that one China girl (seriously, can't pronounce or spell their names worth beans) landed on her KNEES and STILL beat out Alicia Sacramone for the bronze. The commentators were baffled, I was baffled, I bet she was wanting to call BS at the top of her lungs. Last night during the uneven bar final Nastia did an amazing routine which tied her up with that other China girl and it went to a tie breaking procedure. Well, that other China girl won gold and Nastia took silver which, again, was a HUGE mistake. Everyone knows that Nastia should have won the gold. Serious judging errors. Serious BS.

Now please give me a minute to climb off my 'Olympic Soap Box.'

So Studly and I went and saw Brian Regan last Friday night at Thanksgiving Point. Luckily we ended up with great seats (about 10 feet away from the stage) . We saw him last year too, and it's always a pleasure. I'm pretty sure we will go to his show whenever he comes within 1 state of us. Brian Regan was one of the first things Studly and I realized we had in common. On our first official/unofficial date we went shooting and I started saying, 'Rootie Tootie point and shootie.' Probably not the best idea whilst shooting a REAL gun, but it was hilarious. We kept laughing and laughing and I couldn't hold the gun right so I ended up with some killer bruises on my arm/shoulder. Good times, good times.

On the adoption slash infertility front, well, it's getting more and more insane by the day. We are looking at 2 agencies right now (LDS Services & Heart & Soul Adoptions), and there are pros and cons for both. With LDS Services the biggest pro by far is they only charge you 10% of your gross income (that doesn't include travel, lodging, and legal fees) with a cap of $10,000. The biggest con is the fact that the average time that couples wait for placement is 3 years. That doesn't count the six months it can take to approve your application. Sure, sure, miracles happen and we could get placed sooner. I've seen it happen too, but you have to go with the worst case scenario here and that would be almost 4 years. Now with Heart & Soul Adoptions it's the opposite. The place quickly but the STARTING cost is $18,500. That's just to get baby in our home. You heard me right, Readers. I will be paying big $$$ for the privilege of being a parent. That seems so messed up in my mind, but I guess when you want something bad enough you'll do anything for it. I've been on the phone with the agencies and with my health insurance seeing if we can place a birth mother on our insurance, how to get the $4,000 they offer for adoption (thank you brain tumor for helping us meet our deductible AND out of pocket for the year) and all the other millions of tasks included with the adoption process. Like I said in a previous post, every time I look at the papers I want to puke.

Oh well, right? You do what you have to do. I for one would like to try the drunken sex route, but I am pretty sure my religion frowns on that.

Until next time.

13 comments:

Katie Horrocks said...

Can I just tell you how cute it is that you call your hubby studly. I would also like to second your outrage with the gymnastics. I watched the vault and I couldn't believe the chinese girl got that high of a score when she landed on her knees!

Trent and Janel Lyman said...

I'm totally with you on the China thing!! Something is SO jacked up!!! And I'd have to add.....kids are so worth the price we pay for them, either money or 70 extra lbs along with stretch marks and leg damage, oh and not to mention saggy boobs....I would totally do it! That first time they smile up at you and say "I love you mom!" I forget all about how much I've paid for him!! I have total confidence in your ability to be get that mound of mind numbing crap filled out and you and Josh are going to be the best parents EVER! Any child will be so dang lucky to have you two as parents.

Kayla said...

I'M SO MAD AT THE GYMNASTICS SCORING TOO!!!! Ugh! I was so pissed when I went to bed last night. They screwed Nastia over big time! (And Alicia Sacramone).

Anyway, I've been thinking of you! Lets get together soon. I'm out of town till next Tuesday night, so sometime after that.

Ashley Cooper said...

Amen to the comments about the seriously messed up gymnastics. Stupid cheating Chinese team....
And about the adoption stuff, that sucks... that's about all I have to say about that.

Stephanie said...

I'll just say ditto to all that's been said on the gymnastics topic...
I'm SO glad y'all got to go see Brian Regan! He's frickin hilarious! I can't wait to hear you guys relive the whole show for me :) Ahmae and I had a little convo the other day about why it's one "goose" and lots of "geese"... and one "deer" and lots of oh, "deer"... and one "child" and lots of "children"... and I thought of good ol' Brian :)

Jared and Shalynn said...

I love reading your posts! Diddo on the dang chinese gymnasts! And good luck on all the adoption stuff. I'm sure it's all a bit overwhelming, but when your day comes whether sooner or later you will be the best mommy :)

Nykelle said...

You are so funny McKenna! You are a creative writer. It's fun to read your posts. Sorry about the adoption mess... good luck with that!

Cali said...

Conspiracy Theory: The Olympics are fixed, duh. So are all pro-sports. All big competitions. There's no possible way that the mob or SOMEONE at the top of a big corporation (or country) isn't going to offer "incentives" to judges, refs, etc. It's how they keep it concealed so well that baffles me.

Good luck with your adoption procedures, I know you'll get through it!

Shannon & Ryan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kenna said...

Touche. Consider it fixed.

Shannon & Ryan said...

you are too kind, Kenna. Thanks, friend.

Jen said...

I am boycotting China.

Waiting for a baby sucks.

Paying big $$ for a baby is not on my list of fun things to do. I am however super glad you contacted Heart & Soul. I personally know 3 of the most amazing children because of that agency.

I have to tell myself this 17,000 times a day: "There is a plan - have faith and patience". Somedays it actually works.

You rock.

The Corbetts said...

Someone said to me, the judges are afraid to give the china people bad scores because they are afraid to get mugged. Or what ever is going on over there. How are ya miss ya. were coming again sept. 26th.

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