Tuesday, October 7, 2008

{...drama flakes...}

Cliff Notes: I was out of 'CHEER-ios' this morning. (Thanks Jodi, for the joke)

Today I am completely frustrated with the lack of control I have over certain situations. I'm sure it won't take a lot of brain power for you to figure out what I'm talking about. Infertility, adoption and all that these subjects entail. Every day I go through the process of 'coming to terms' with infertility. I have some sort of brain defect where all the progress I make in a day is erased once I fall asleep and I have to start from square one when I wake up. Most days I am able to process things in a non-dramatic, calm and quiet manner but there are 'those days' when it's completely impossible. All I can think about doing is taking all the adoption papers and sending them through the shredder.

Twice.

You want to know what else I want to put through the shredder?

My ovaries.

Might as well toss my uterus in there too. (we all can't be perfect now, can we?)

Even better, I should have them taken out and I'll con someone into buying them off the black market. I'll make a few thousand, and be long gone before anyone could figure out that my eggs are worthless and my uterus is dusty. I might as well make some money. Then again, I'm a slow runner. They'd be sure to catch up with me a 1/2 mile down the road to slit my through. That's not necessarily the way I want to go, although that would be going out with a dramatic BANG.


Heaven knows I'm all about the drama.

I suppose that's why infertility suits me so well. Didn't you know 'infertility' is spelled:

D-R-A-M-A.

It can also be spelled using the following variations:

H-E-A-R-T W-R-E-N-C-H-I-N-G

I-N-S-A-N-I-T-Y

T-E-A-R-S

A-N-X-I-E-T-Y

O-V-E-R W-H-E-L-M-I-N-G

L-O-S-T

Not only am I good at drama, I'm good at spelling too.

6 comments:

lauren said...

yes my dear, you are an excellent speller. and writer for that matter. think about how many people will read this and feel your pain, who will appreciate your honesty and your willingness to admit that sometimes you have no control over what happens in your life. (like the rest of us.) get an adoption fund stat and let's start raising money for your baby. :)

The Wendler Family said...

Oh Kenna. I can't imagin the pain you feel every day, over and over all day. I'm glad you haven't put your adoption papers through the shredder. Can other people help you fill them out? You should have a filling out adoption papers party with your friends. We'd all be in the same room asking you questions and you can tell us the answer as we fill all the paper work out for you. That way, we would get it all done in a matter of hours in one day and then you and Josh would have that part taken care of. I'm not kidding. I would totally come! How 'bout it?

Jen said...

Now Kenna, remember when you punched yourself in the ovaries and how much it hurt? I don't think putting them (or your uterus) in the shredder will make anything better.

I think I'm going to email you right now.

TOGETHER FOREVER said...

Kenna you are such a woman!!! I sympathize with ya hon I seem to have amnesia when it comes to remembering the good things, sometimes things get overwhelming and all ya want to do is pour yourself a good bowl of drama flakes and just call it quits, but thats not you so I am glad you are a fighter my dear and I admire you for the strength that you don't even know you posess. I guess that's what friends are for so you call me anytime you want me to tell you why you are special... I still call my mom weekly to find out.

Anyway I love your guts and hope you have a good day go see your friend Ripple he will make it all better!! :)

Jennif said...

:(

Tasha said...

Kenna, I thought you were getting better? Is your medication helping you at all? Is there any hope at all? Please write me back. Love Tasha

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