Sunday, September 20, 2009


Many of you know the story of Addalyn.  (If you aren't familiar, you can click here for the entire story.)  In a nut shell, the first time I became pregnant we ended up losing our little girl.  To this day it rips my heart apart.

I'm having a very hard time writing this.  I can't help but cry.  Tears of sadness, of frustration, relief, gratitude.  You see, my dear fellow blogger and friend, mrs. r, created the following piece for me...

That's my daughter's name.  I get to wear that around my neck, close to my heart, every day.  If I can't have her here with me, this is what I want.  It's so hard to find a balance in this situation.  I don't want to forget her.  She's my daughter, a part of me.  This cannot simply be forgotten.  I remember so vividly the day I delivered her.  I remember her little face, tiny feet and fingers.  Simply perfect.  When the doctor took her away I felt a piece of my heart leave with her.

Mrs. R introduced a new necklace into her shop last week.  The circle plate bore the word, 'cherish.'  This made me think about how I cherish the experience of being able to be pregnant, albeit for only 5 months, with this little one.  I cherish the fact that she saved my life.  If this pregnancy would have never transpired, my brain tumor would not have been found when it was.  I cherish the fact that she is ours forever.  I cherish
the thought that she paved the way for us to begin our adoption journey.

I cherish women like mrs. r.  Who have opened up their world for us to be a part of, to learn from, to be inspired by.  I cherish the others I have met from my experiences.

I cherish my daughter.

Mrs. R, you knew what you were doing when you used the word, 'cherish' for your newest piece.  It carries so many meanings.  It's beautiful.  Thank you for being so open and willing to help me towards healing from this experience.  Thank you for taking the time to be so tender with my story, with this piece.  Thank you for truly thinking about what stones would accompany my daughter's name. Thank you for creating this.  Thank you for offering such a healing experience.

Tears.  So many grateful tears go out to you and your awesome 'team.'  (kim/leisha)

I cherish this necklace. 

From the bottom of my heart mrs. r, thank you.  One day I'm going to give you a hug, mmk?

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Josh and Kandice said...

Oh my, It's beautiful! How amazing is Mrs. R?! Love her blog and her story. That was so sweet of her. You'll always have your little girl with you, close to your heart.

Shannon said...

Love this necklace, and what it means to you. What a sweet and precious gift.

Stephanie said...

That's beautiful. All of it.

lauren said...

i love it. what a beautiful gift.

TIM&SHAN said...

I love this too;)
and like I said b4, even though we never have met.
Just want 2 say that I cherish U kenna and your stregnth.
I look forward to your posts.

Jen Nelson said...

Oh my gosh!! That made me burst into tears! How beautiful!

Mrs R., you are AMAZING! Thank you for that gift for my Kenna!

The Wendler Family said...

What a beautiful necklace! It is just tender.

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