Monday, October 19, 2009

...courage doesn't always roar...

"So I`ll stop searching for the answers,
I`ll stop praying for an escape,
And I`ll trust you with where I am,
And believe that you will have your way."

                                                                          -Britt Nicole, 'Have Your Way'

I have a confession.  As much as I know, 'I was made for this' I am not feeling it at all right now.  In fact, I feel like in the past few days I have done a 180.  I hope that you all know I meant every word I said in that post, and I still do, but mortality doesn't stop for anyone, and it's been really beating me up as of late.  I find that once I realize I am completely capable of rocking my trials and current life situations things get harder.  Actually, I bet you all can attest to that.  I believe it's called Murphy's Law.  (correct me if I'm wrong.)  It's late and I don't feel like researching said law to find out if it is, indeed, applicable to this situation.  Let's all just assume I'm smarter than I sound and I know what I'm talking about.

It's in these moments that I feel very alone, lost, confused, and ultimately just straight up tired.  It's these days that I give all I've got, and I fall short, and then I have to trust that there is a higher power that will bridge that gap.  That He knows I am giving all I have.  That I'm pushing as hard as I possibly can.  I'm fighting to stay faithful, trusting, and hopeful.  I'd like to think that we are all allowed these days.  A quote from a  friend's blog just came to mind,

Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow."
                                           -Mary Anne Radmacher 

This is me saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'  

I don't have it in me to roar.

Forgive me? 

To all of you out there dealing with hard things, keep at it.  I'm pulling for you.

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Richard and Emily said...

I love this. I love the quote about courage. And yes, I completely agree with your Murphy's Law application. I believe it also has another name, SATAN! Man, I hate him. Also, just so you know, you don't have to be strong everyday. I know I'm not. I'm pretty much a lot of talk also and don't always have very much courage, except in the sense that I'll try again tomorrow. I think it will always be that way, at least for awhile. We'll all always have bad days. This isn't just something we can bounce back from so quickly and as my good friend put it "people who expect us to are simply short-sighted."
So whether your courage is roaring or quiet, know that I think you're wonderful. And I have days like you very frequently. Thanks for the reminder that we're made for this and that courage doesn't have to roar. Here's to tomorrow and dinner! :)

Jewls said...

Love that quote, I'm going to have to put it in vinyl or something! Hang in there Kenna!

lauren said...

love this. love you.

TIM&SHAN said...

My heart aches for you. I pray for you everynight, just to find relief.
I love that quote. Thankyou for sharing so openly with us all.
please know how inspiring your strength is to me.
Thinking of you.

Jamie said...

Forgiven. You don't have to roar. You only have to do what you feel like doing. Tomorrow is a new day, just like you said. I'm pulling for YOU too.

jessica said...

i’m an associate of mary anne radmacher’s and saw you’ve enjoyed her quote, “courage doesn't always roar.” i know mary anne is so happy when people find inspiration from her words in the context of their daily lives. for more work from mary anne’s hand visit her website and her product site mary anne has written several books and shares her work in many forms including conferences and classes. If you’d like more information feel free to e-mail me at thanks for sharing her words!

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