Saturday, November 28, 2009

...fail...






I try to remember this daily.

Sigh, lately I am not doing so well at recognizing it.

It's time to stop hanging on to the past.  Time to quit living for future events that are unstable.

It's time to live for now.  

Any ideas on how?

Seriously, I'm begging you.

Sound off.


***I know I have readers.  Seriously, tell me what you think people.  Don't be shy.***


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16 comments:

Richard and Emily said...

Kenna,
I hope you get feeling better soon. I know I don't know exactly how you feel but I think I can relate somewhat - In all of our infertility and adoption stuff I've tried to learn to live for now also.

Here is some things I've done to try and do this (not that I'm very good at them :) but here are some ideas):
1. make a list of things you want to do together or with others or by yourself etc. I did this last winter and it worked pretty well. I need to do it again this winter! Things like go ice skating, go sledding, go get donuts and hot chocolate, go see the lights at Temple Square, fun things like that, etc. But it could be anything!
2. start some new hobbies or projects! I remember having a conversation about you with projects - go start some major projects! :)
3. SHOP! :)
4. Serve. Easier said than done i know but maybe find a group you want to serve with or do some individual service - bake and give some cookies!

I hope those help. And I want you to know that I'm thinking of you and love reading your blog.

TIM&SHAN said...

Well Emily said it so well. so I am not sure that there is to much to add.
BUT
I want to second what she said about service. LOSE yourself in service. Its so hard to do, but if you do I promise you it will keep you grounded.
You can never forget what has happened to you because it has changed you in both good ways and nad I am sure. It is a part of you, BUT let it help refine you in the present. Because you have hurt you can see when someone is hurting and help heal their pain. You will be suprised how much of your own pain is healed too;)
THIS is what my SISTER told me and I think its pretty good advice.
Before all your struggles with infertility there were things that made you happy. There were things that took up your time. Try to go back to those things. tr to remember before the pain. THIS is so hard to do but it will help.
I dunno if any of this helps you at all but I hope you find some comfort soon. YOU ARE GLORIOUS Kenna and you deserve to be happy. You must create your own happiness.
Just because your favorite color isnt in the crayon box doesnt mean you can create a beautiful picture;) I have tried to remember that through my infertility.
Love you Kenna, you are an inspiration.

Wahines in Bikinis said...

Pick something to be grateful for each morning and go with it. *Also third the service thing especially during winter when there are so many who need extra care.
Here's one of my favorite quotes that helped me out this past summer of doom and depression.


"every one of us is called upon, probably many times, to start a new life. A frightening diagnosis, a marriage, a move, loss of a job...and onward full tilt we go, pitched and wrecked and absurdly resolute, driven in spite of everything to make good on a new shore. to be hopeful, to embrace one possibility after another-- that is surely the basic instinct...crying out: HIGH TIDE! time to move out into the glorious debris. Time to take this life for what it is." (barbara kingsolver) I love her.

Cheree said...

Hey there Kenna,

You already know what's up with my sister. So I wanted to share with you what's she's doing to get through her tough times. There's a lady in her ward that has MS, and she goes to her home on a regular basis to serve her. She helps her around the house, visits, etc. I was so impressed by her. I thought I'd share since it helped me. It's hard for me to get out of my ruts and get out of my pity parties sometimes. The best remedy for me is to help someone. And sometimes that means faking it until it's sincere. But eventually, the sincerity comes, and the pity party is over, and the sun comes out again ;-). Love you.

Jewls said...

Not sure...working on it! If I find out I'll get back to you...

Ashley said...

I like the stuff already shared, and I'm gonna add this: take a vacation. Big one, small one, whatever. Just something fun. And let's go out to dinner too, k? 'Cause I'm not doin' so hot myself.

TIM&SHAN said...

Ok so I am a dork.. I meant to say.......
Just because your favorite color isnt in the crayon box doesnt mean you can't create a beautiful picture;)

Trent and Janel Lyman said...

Um lets go to the beach.

Jen Nelson said...

I am no help and I wish I was.

First I tried drinking massive amounts of caffeine and eating lots of crap. Think cheetos for breakfast. That didn't work. Running helped. But we've already talked about that ;)

I do like the suggestion about service. That's what I did when I went through my divorce. Do you journal? Besides this blog? Maybe writing first thing in the morning? Something positive to focus on for the day?

I still owe you a coke. Last week was ca-razy!

Love you!!

The Wendler Family said...

When I am struggling with being thankful for every moment and making things count, I start to just notice all the things going right in my life, even if it is as simple as being able to turn my lights on and off and drinking clean water- to being glad that my laundry is clean so that I can fold it...
Service is a big deal too. Find a cause you love and use your spare time to work on/help it.
I struggle with wanting what others have and comparing myself to others gets me nowhere. I try really hard to genuinely be happy for others and their good news and blessings. It is hard for me some times, but I just pray and tell Heavenly Father that I really do want to feel joy for them in the good they are experiencing. It has been getting easier.
A favorite poem I memorized as a child is:
I am only one, but I am one.
I cannot do everything, but I can do something.
What I can do I ought to do, and what I ought to do, by the grace of God, I will do.

I hope some of what I said will help with what you were looking for. From what I can tell you're doing remarkably well Kenna. Hang in there!

HP4thward said...

SERVE
The best way to forget your problems: serve.
The best way to remind yourself of your blessings: serve.
The best way to stay busy: serve.
The best way to feel HIS peace: SERVE!

Trust me, I know.

mrs. r said...

everyone is so deep here that it's going to make my suggestion super, duper lame. but, you love me, right?

something that helps me live in the present and notice and soak in things around me at the very minute is blogging.

i find that i look for little moments that are profound so that i can write about them later.

things like noticing that every single person was sitting at my parents' thanksgiving table and recognizing that i was feeling the spirit in that moment.

things like looking at tyson's nursery drawings of a forever family and hugging him telling him i hope it happens soon.

it would be easy to miss these little moments and the magnitude they play in my life, but because "iWrite" i notice them more--they mean more.

is this even making sense?

writing in my therapy. even nie nie said that on the today show last week. awesomeness. i feel the same way.

if that's not enough, keep a camera around your neck and look for things IN THE MOMENT that are beautiful for you/to you. that would be a cool additional blog, wouldn't it? a whole blog where you post photos of the beautiful little moments, places, things you see on a daily basis?

if i weren't already doing TOO MANY blogs, i would totally do that.

above all, recognize how much you are loved and how prayers really are answered ...maybe not in the way we always want, but they are. (i can't believe i just wrote that. i hate it when people tell that to me.)

love you!

Steve and Hailey said...

I know, but you're not going to love my idea. Hiking and being outdoors! You have got to visit Capital Reef. Southern Utah, not far and so gorgeous. I bet your hubby would take you!

Rebecka said...

Sometimes it's hard to love today. Sometimes I find myself thinking about how my life was supposed to be......That doesn't help. How it's going to be, that's okay if it dosn't take to much of my thoughts. I found something I can acomplish, something that's in my power. I remember the times I've had spiritual confirmation that I've chosen the right path (not that I'll have everything i want). I remember all the things I do have. Don't know if this'ed help but thanks for the oportunity to reflect and share.

Kent and Leisy said...

seize every single moment that you can in THAT moment. every opportunity that comes my way- i try my best to seize. it ensures that my life is always full of little surprises and spurts of excitement and small acts of service. When I look back at my days and then my weeks and then my months- I realize that my life is chock full of greatness.

Traci said...

I have lots of opportunities for service here in my smokin' hot basement. It is sure to give you many hours of fulfillment:)

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