Tuesday, April 27, 2010

...the fallen finally land...

*while our adoption was reversed, i feel it is necessary to keep this post up, as it was the most joyous 2 weeks of my life, being a mother to my sweet kate.*

this is not how i was prepared to do this, but readers, i need you. i NEED you right now.

there is someone i'd like you to meet.

katelyn.

i know, i know, i haven't told a soul. (in fact, we are just telling family, so if some of you see this and haven't been called, seriously, we are working on it.)  the story will come later, dear friends, and know that my lack of updates have been because i haven't eaten in 24 hours, slept in 2 days nor been able to successfully find my sanity.

because i was too busy doing this...



don't judge.  last minute flight.  no sleep.  oh, and i was bawling.  and no that isn't snot on my nose, it's a tear.  gross.

our beautiful birthmom, R, went into labor 4 weeks early.  katelyn was born yesterday evening.  we are in love.  she is perfect.  the lord is gracious.  she is healthy, happy, sleepy, and proof that we have waited for a reason.  that our little kate needed to be here now with us.

however, there are extenuating circumstances involving the birth father that have caused us to feel concern for our daughter and for our birth mom.

i'm in reno, nv.  i will not be coming home soon.

we NEED your prayers.

your love.

your hope.

your faith.

we NEED YOU.

pray that our birth father's heart will soften.  that our birth mom, R, will remain strong in the face of such hardship.  that i, as awful as it sounds to ask for prayers, will be able to remain strong for R, for kate, for Studly, for R's family. 

that we will be able to bring kate home.

that R will be strong even though it is so hard for her.

we LOVE our sweet lady, R.  as i write this i am pained because i am not by her side.  not basking in the calm and that love R and kate bring.  

oh, our baby kate.

please.  i have never felt so helpless.  so unable to protect those i love.  i have never felt such love for another human being, and i can't even protect her.

i feel like i'm just being pathetic, but with all my heart, with all i have in me right now, please, if you feel so inclined, pray.  we have felt the prayers from so many of you and i hate asking for more, but we cannot do this alone.




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76 comments:

the.pattens said...

Kenna-
As soon as I read this the spirit filled me with so much joy for you and Studly. I am praying right now, if that even works while I'm typing to you, which I do believe it does by the way. You are a strong woman and Heavenly Father loves you and that baby and whatever is supposed to happen is going too. He loves you and he is going to take care of you and all of those he loves. Trust me, I'm praying, I don't care if I don't know you personally, you are my sister and I love you for being so strong. Once again, the prayers are pouring out of my soul right now. You keep on praying too and trust in Heavenly Father.
w/ love
Mary

lauren said...

been praying for you all day my dear. and i'll keep at it. love you.

Jen said...

Yay - I'm so excited for you guys! She is adorable. You will be in my prayers. :)

Ashley Rose said...

First of all--I am so happy for you guys! My prayers are with you and R and all those involved. I wish you all the best!

Sarah H. said...

Congratulations! Trust in Lord, we will all be praying for you!

Richard and Emily said...

You and your family are in my prayers.

BUT YAY!!!!!!!! I LOVED reading that you have a daughter! I LOVED reading that adoption and hope and prayer and faith DO work!

And I am SO HAPPY for you! She is adorable and you are an amazing mom!

Josh and Kandice said...

Seriously?! I'm so happy for you guys!! What a surprise!
Trust in the Lord and I'll be praying for you, your little family and R. Love you Kenna!

P.S. You're still doing the half marathon, right?!:)

Whitney & McKayla said...

You are a very brave woman, Kenna. I don't think many could have gone through such hardships and still stand where you are today. Kate will be very blessed to be raised in a home with you as her mother.
My prayers and love go out to both your family and R's. I can only imagine the trials she is also facing. Hopefully the birth father will be able to look into his heart and know that where Kate belongs is with you and Studly.

Remember...what you are feeling can be hard to deal with and very emotional, but everything you feel and all the of the sacrifices...that's what truly makes a great mother.

Robin said...

WHAT?!?!? McKenna YAY!!!!! That's all I can say. Yay! I knew the time was soon!

Jack and Daynalee said...

She is absolutely beautiful Kenna. You are in our thoughts and prayers. My heart hurts for your situation and I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that our Heavenly Father wants whats best for Katelyn. For you. For Studly. And for R and her family. He's on your side. Praying you come home soon with your sweet miracle!

Danielle James said...

Kenna,
I've been following your blog for a while, I couldn't be more happy for your little family. The gift of being a parent is something no one could ever describe. It will be so hard but so worth it. :) Congrats I know everything will turn out just fine.

Jessica GaleForce said...

I am at a loss for words!

WOW! thats all I can say! WOW
CONGRATULATIONS!!! I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! I can honestly say that to you. I think its easier to accept people who have had difficulties with infertility when they get babies then when the others who don't have any inkling get them. I LOVE YOU! I am so excited and just...I don't know! EXCITED!!!

You totally know you are in my prayers btw. Lots and lots of love, hugs and kisses are commin your way. Give that sweet little tot some love from me and tell her to send a good word in also for me :D

/HUGE HUGS

Ashley said...

Kenna, if I catch you apologizing for that picture, I'll fly out there, kick you in the shins and then fly home. It's beautiful and makes me want to cry.

Praying my measly guts out. Don't think I could do anything less.

Looking hot Mama!!!

Leslie said...

I've been praying for awhile now and you know I'll continue to pray hard. She is gorgeous. Call me if you need to chat. I'm here. Sometimes it helps just to scream it out or tell someone else.
Kate is beautiful. Give R our love as well.

Jenny and Brett said...

Holy cow! It seems like just a month ago I met you and you were just approved!! Wait, that's because it was just a month ago!! Congratulations! Sending love and prayers your way!!

The VerNooy's said...

WOW!! I am so excited for you, and anxious for you!!!! You will be in our prayers. Lots of love!!!! Give her a kiss from me!!!!

Kellie Knapp said...

prayers are headed your way in bulk...

i love you mckenna.

AJ said...

I am praying for you guys! Wow...what a shock (a fantabulous shock!)

I want to scream in delight but my sore throat prevents me!

Tons of prayers coming your way!

Jared and Shalynn said...

I'm crying happy tears for you. You will be a great mother. I will be praying for all involved.

Cody and Rachelle said...

Kenna she is beautiful!! I will pray for you, R, Katelyn, and Studly. What a blessing. I am so happy for you!!

Kim said...

Wow, what an amazing surprise! Your picture made me cry. I'll be praying for y'all and the birth family. Your daughter is beautiful.

Jewls said...

She's beautiful!! I've been praying for you since Ash mentioned it on her blog...just didn't know it was you!! So, so, so excited!!

Mandy said...

love you so much. lifting you, your family, R, and everyone up in prayer. i hope that you will have nothing but inner peace and joy as things unfold. she is beautiful and you are radiant. :) looking forward to updates, doll.

Erin said...

Kenna, I just called and put all your names in the Chicago temple prayer roll. She is so beautiful! I'm so happy for you, and pray that you can take her safely home ASAP!

Meemaw said...

I know a guy in Vegas-name is Guido-that's all you need to know..... He knows people, he makes things happen, if you get my drift.....:)
I will be there soon and I will not come home without my granddaughter! Hold fast.

serenity said...

So much I want to say, but I just don't have the words for you. Love. Hope. Fingers tightly crossed for ALL of you, Kenna.

xxx

Alyse and Bob said...

Thinking of you and your family. Congrats on the baby. Praying that you will all return soon.

Susan said...

Sending constant prayers your way. She is perfect. Love to all your family.

TIM&SHAN said...

Kenna the power of prayer will protect you and your family. I am crying and praying with you and many who love you. Congratulations Mama;) You will have your sweet eternal family with you. I know it.
I love you.
Praying for you every second.

Trent and Janel Lyman said...

Oh my gosh Kenna, she is BEAUTIFUL! How my heart hurts for you, we've been praying, and we will continue to pray...and fast for you and your situation. R is amazing, and I love her, wish I could give her a huge hug and tell her what an amazing woman she is...you'll have to do that for me! Call if you need anything. We look forward to meeting this little bundle of yours and throwing you the biggest party ever!! Love you!

Trent and Janel Lyman said...

oh...and I know I'm not your mother...get yourself something to eat and sleep some...don't make me come out there and feed you...cuz I will :)

cbfenn_05 said...

Mckenna, congrats, that is so exciting, I am so happy for you. I have been following your blog for a while now, and am so amazed at your strength and your faith! Good luck with everything, and know that we are praying for you!!

Cali said...

Kenna! I was ecstatic to read this! I think God does want what is best for everyone, it will work out. Lots of thoughts and prayers your way.

Angie said...

Sending LOTS of prayers your way!! and HOLY COW!!! congrats, congrats CONGRATS!!!

Erin said...

Nice to meet you Katelyn. Congratulations! I hope you and Joshy can find time for a nap soon.

We're sending your family, R, and R's family, and birth father lots of prayers your way. Love you all!

India said she'd like to play with her new friend sometime. And I love your sobby pictures. You are a beautiful cryer for beautiful reasons!

Kenny + Michelle + Charlie said...

My goodness she is beautiful. Congrats! Prayers to all of you for a swift resolution so that you can got home with your daughter.

Heidi said...

Found your blog through the R house. My prayers will be with you and your family. What an adorable little girl.

Nicole said...

Good luck :-)

Nicole said...

as just a blog follower (You know my sister Courtney) I was stunned by todays post! And of course my prayers will be added to yours! Children change your life in ways you are never prepared. As you have just started to see. My heart goes out to you.

Steve and Hailey said...

I second Janel's comment completely. We are praying and waiting and totally ready to run errands or take care of anything while you are away. Love you three.

Leslie said...

Oh, she's beautiful. You're beautiful. I love her name. We've been praying too, and will continue to do so. All of your names are in the Jordan River Temple too!

I cannot wait to meet this beautiful daughter of yours. I love you.

Christina Munyan said...

Kenna,

I wish you luck! You are going to be a great mom. Those little ones have a way of changing your life in ways you didn't even think were possible. My prayers are definitely with you.

Christina

Katie said...

Kenna our prayers have been with you and Josh on your amazing journey and will continue with sweet Kate and the birth parents added. That is such a beautiful picture...even with the nose tear.

Shane, Megan, CJ and R-Baby said...

We are so excited and happy and nervous and hopeful for you! You are in our prayers, and so is that angel baby and her birth parents. The picture is magical. Soak it in and write down the details, even the hard stuff.!

Steph said...

This is wonderful! I will definitely be thinking and praying your way. Oh, Kenna! I am SO SO SO SO thrilled for you and will be pulling for you for sure. Prayer roll and everything!

Rebecka said...

Beautifull photo. Our prayers and wishes for lots of happiness. -R

shiloh said...

Oh Kenna!!! With all this going on, I'm not sure when you'll even find the time to read all these comments. Congratulations on such a wonderful blessing. Kate is one of my very favorite names. I know you can be the rock that helps all these people stand firm. Savor every minute of holding that sweet baby close. Congrats again.

A said...

I cried the whole time I read this. Seeing you hold that little girl brought back so many emotions. I am praying for you and your birth mom. And the birthfather. Keep having faith and if you get a chance, let us know how things are going. But take every moment possible to hold your beautiful little baby.

Love you,


A

Melissa E Photography said...

a-mazing. Praying for you for sure!

Ashley said...

Wow!

Sam and Lacey said...

I am praying..... Oh Kenna. YOu have been through so much. I am pleading. Hang in there.

Josh and Vanessa Leazenby said...

Oh Kenna!!! I'm so excited fr you!! As one who knows abou and has gone through adoption processes I understand what you are going through and am crying along side you and praying for you!

Kent and Leisy said...

kenna- we are praying like crazy for you guys. and big fat congrats to you!! you are fab. you deserve so much!
-leisy

Kristin said...

I was going to name my first girl Kate! Have faith that your promptings were not in vain. It's hard to hold on to that, but sometimes that's all we have when someone else's free agency is involved. I'm praying for you. Let me know if you need any little girl things because I have a lot of super cute things that I'm getting rid of. Love you!

Eric & Jodi Eames said...

I know I'm late to this party!
#50 something, but I couldn't get through to you on your phone that's probably ringing non stop and needs to be charged cause its dead. I just wanted to say congratulations to you and Studly I am defiantly praying for you guys and hope you get to come home sooner than later.

I offered when I called you on the phone, but I'm offering again...my parents live in Reno so if you need ANYTHING a hug a place to crash, food to eat (mom still cooks for an army even though its just her and my dad)...something please let me know they are awesome...and my dad has a gun. Not sure what situation you are in out there, but prayers are probably a better option than a loaded weapon...but just thought I'd throw that one out there!! :)

Luv u guys and can't wait to meet your little!! She is so gorgeous!!

mrs. m said...

Oh I am in tears!!!! Words can not even describe it! I truly hope it works out, and we will pray for you too. She's beautiful! <3

Jen Nelson said...

Note to self: Check Kenna's blog more often!!!

AHHHHHH!!! I am shocked! Totally shocked! I burst into tears when I saw the picture of her! Gorgeous!

Praying so hard that you will be bringing her home very soon!

Can't wait to meet her! I showed Kell her picture on my iPod and he tried to eat it. I think he likes her ;)

Love you so much!

AHHHHHH! Yay!!!

Duchess said...

We are so happy for you. Praying that everything falls happily into place. She is just beautiful. Also, sending our love and support to R.

blakeandcourt said...

I thought I already published a comment, but maybe not...Congrats Kenna! I am so thrilled for you! I know that God's hand is in all things and this will work out. You are in my prayers!

Liza A Martin said...

I have been following your blog for the last year or two through Kayla Lunt. I am praying for you and your family. Congratulations!

Teresa said...

Prayer sent, and more on the way.

Losee Family said...

Oh kenna you will be in our prayers for sure. What a sweet beautiful baby. You guys deserve this more then ever and I know everything will work out the way it is suppose to and I hope and pray that it works out the way you want it to. You guys have so many people who love and support you.

Nicole said...

Seeing that picture of you and your beautiful baby sent me to tears. It is such a touching picture. I've prayed and will continue to pray that the Lord will have a hand in this. Best of luck.

leisha said...

Love, love, love that picture and praying my gutts out for everyone involved that things work out and you are home before you know it. (((((HUGS))))))

Ashley said...

Congratulations my friend. She is beautiful and appears to be healthy in spite of her early arrival. I hope all turns out well. Good luck, I'm thinking of you.

Jamie said...

Seriously, I'm the 67th person commenting on this? Wow. Anyway, I pretty much cried when I read your post. You know I'm praying for you, just like I always do. I know what it feels like to be helpless, but you have the Lord on your side. Don't give up. I believe things will work out the way they are supposed to. I can't believe this happened so soon for you guys. What an awesome and amazing gift. That little girl is beautiful. I can't wait to hear what happens.
All my love,
Jamie

Shannon said...

Kate is beautiful, Kenna and Josh. You are beautiful, Kenna. My prayers are with you guys and with R. and A. right now. What sweet and tender moments have been shared with this post. May you feel our love and prayers for you all.

Amanda Mendenhall said...

She is so beautiful! You are in out prayers!!!

Kayla said...

Kenna, she's absolutely beautiful! We are praying for you! When you're home, let us know what we can do for you!

Mary said...

Sending prayers and congratulations your way!

Gio, Tasha, and Bella said...

Yeah! What a pretty little girl. I am so excited for you both. I hope that everything works out okay and we will definitely be praying for you guys.
-Tasha

Candice and Tim Peterson said...

What a bitter sweet moment in so many ways. I hope so bad that this works out for you and your little family. You guys have been through so much and you deserve it so much! I will send everything I have up to the big man in your behalf and all that are involved. Good luck and I hope you are able to keep us all updated (I can tell there are many people that you have sitting on the edge of their seats). P.S. I went to that conference on Saturday and didn't see you, I now know why!!! You were in a much better place but the conference/kick off was phenominal!!! Thanks for your help!

Anonymous said...

Best of luck to you and your family. I understand the importance of adoptive wonderful parents like you. My sister placed a baby for adoption in December to keep him safe from his daddy, he wasn't ready to be a father in any sense of the word. I am grateful for wonderful people like you and your husband that can take care of these sweet babies and raise them. My thoughts are with the birth mom as I know this is difficult on her, I've watched my sisters struggles with it. Please tell her as hard as it is it is the right thing to do. May God soften the birth dads heart and you can bring you baby home soon. Much love as you embark on this beautiful journey.

ColleenaMareena said...

I also found your blog from the R house. I was brought to tears by your beautiful post and your beautiful girl, and just reading through the love and support in the comments is amazing! My prayers are with you and the birth family!

Nelson Family said...

Kenna~ I am so happy for you! She is a beautiful baby girl. I hope everything works out very soon for you! You will be in our prayers.

Whitney said...

Kenna,
Wow I felt the Spirit so strong when I read this post, I just got chills all over. She is beautiful and all of you will definitely be in my prayers! I love you!
Whitney

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