Tuesday, November 30, 2010

...i promise you kid...

***some have asked for an address.***

3721 Delia Circle
Salt Lake City, UT  84109

(this is my mom's address, she will know what to do with anything sent to her.  since we will be out of town, we are having everything forwarded to her.  :)  )

again, we are overwhelmed with the support and love that has been shown to us.  it's amazing.  simple as that.  we are blessed because of all of you.

to give so much more than i get.

i have been attempting to formulate words that adequately express how studly and i feel about what has transpired over the past couple of months, and more so, the past week.  i am afraid i still lack a decent vocabulary, but i'm going to take a stab at it anyway.  

obviously, from the most recent post, there are happy things afoot.  psh, afoot, that shouldn't even be a word.  it sounds completely ridiculous.  then again, i'm not going to delete it.  also, i'm hungry.  in case you were wondering about that.

sigh, how do i express my love for this little man?  simply put, i can't.  i just can't.  neither can studly.  we adore our little studly.  he's perfect, adorable, feisty, has strawberry blonde hair and eyes the same color as studly's.  he fits into our family, as do his birth parents, as do their families.  truly the lord had a hand in all of this.  i won't lie, i didn't always have faith or believe that we'd ever be parents, that there is a plan for us, that God is paying attention, but how i've been humbled.  how i've come to know that God is good.  

harley & his birth parents are proof of this.  

one of my favorite pictures.  look at that nose!  those cheeks!  that hat!
(sadie-belle ((birth mom)), you are a genius, that hat is perfection)

i was ready to toss this year into the garbage.  just like years past, all i could account for was pain and sorrow.  yes, we are blessed, but i admit the struggles seem to overwhelm, especially during the holidays.  i have been dreaming of the christmas where there are 3 stockings hanging by the tree.  

this year, we indeed have 3 stockings.  

studly, kenna, little studly.  

i'm outnumbered!  (just realized this)

psh, like you all even want to hear about me right now.

the little man is 14 months old (tomorrow, actually).  his birth mom, sadie-belle, found us via the lds family services website.  we'd only been online one week, and we were stunned to receive an email so fast!  studly and i sat in awe as we read through her words.  the strength it had to have taken to email us, to think of placing her 14th month old son, blew us away.  

in fact, right now, i'm tearing up at the thought.  sadie, i am not sure if you'll read this, but you blow us away.  your strength is awe inspiring, and glenn (birth father), you went in to sign with the knowledge that you were doing the best thing for your son.  we are so grateful for your willingness to meet us, to sign those papers, as hard as i'm sure it was. 

we are leaving saturday morning for texas, where we will see sadie and harley again.  (we can't wait)  placement will happen in texas, and we'll stay there for a week or two so harley can adjust to having me and studly in his life.  

the thought of bringing him home brings me so much joy i can barely contain it.  

the thought of the strength of sadie and her family, how hard this is for them, is the bittersweet side of adoption.  they are wonderful, and only want what is best for harley.  

the thought that we are what's best for harley drops me to my knees.  

we love him.  deeply.

now, like i mentioned in the previous post, we have placed a donate button on the left side of the blog.  i have debated this for quite some time.  i don't want to be a beggar, or pathetic, but when it comes down to it, i'll do anything for this child, to bring him home.  financially we are struggling to pay for all the expenses of harley's adoption.  after kate, we weren't reimbursed for any expenses paid, and that goes for all funds paid in the second adoption attempt as well.  we know that's just the way of adoption, but i won't lie and say it didn't drain our savings.  we are blessed with family who has given so much, as well as friends who have offered their love, help and support. however, we still are lacking as we pin down all the details of little studly's adoption.  we need help, and please, don't feel obligated, or think that i'm pan handling on my blog just to get some spare change.  any and all funds received will go only towards the expenses of harley's adoption.  i understand that many of you, especially during this time of year, don't have the means, but if any of you feel so inclined, there aren't words to express our appreciation.  those of you who have already donated, know that i sat in my chair at work and cried.  i am humbled by the love and support all of you have shown us.  

we love all of you.  we love sadie, glenn, and our sweet little man, harley.  

there is no one luckier than i right now.

truly, no one.

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Val'n'Ben said...

I've never even met him and I can't describe to you how much I love him already. I can't wait to meet this adorable little boy and squeeze him and love him. We're so excited to welcome him into our family.

Katie said...

Oh Kenna, I am so happy for you! What an adorable child! His dimples are the cutest thing ever! Can't wait to hear more.

Josh and Kandice said...

Congratulations! I'm so dang happy for the 3 of you! What amazing birth parents! A true miracle of the season! What a Merry Christmas you guys will have as a family with your Harley! Love you.

Michelle said...

you guys are amazing! i am so happy for you! he is a lucky little boy and his birth parents are lucky to have you in their lives. thanks for teaching me to NEVER give up :)

Kim said...

So excited for the two of you!! When I first saw his picture I was amazed at how much he looks like the two of you. Make so many memories in the coming weeks!!

Que and Brittany's Adoption Journal said...

He is just gorgeous and I love hearing more of the story. Do Sadie and Glenn want an open adoption? I hope so!! They sound awesome and I'm so excited for you guys to go to Texas Saturday! That seems just too far away!

Jen Nelson said...

SO excited for playdates!!!

Congratulations from the bottom of my toes! (since you used the word afoot and all)

I will be praying for you and Josh and Sadie-belle and Glenn. Wow. Love them and love Harley already! And already love you!

Travel safely and I will do all I can to help!



TIM&SHAN said...


Seriously overjoyed!!!! I am happy we get to be mommies at the same time;) 2011 is our year to finally be a mommy all the way through!!!!

I know how you feel about being grateful for this little miracle<3
Love you always.

Trent and Janel Lyman said...

I cry for all that you've been through, for all that you experience (pain and joy), and for all the greatness that is to come. What a wonderful time of the year. (Maybe snowy December will become your favorite month) Trent

Lechelle said...

Beautiful. So happy for your little family

Steph said...

Ultra-like!!!!!! This is fabulous. An answer to so many prayers, no doubt. Thanks for being so open and sharing the story. I'm excited to hear more. All the best these next few weeks!

Tina said...

Words can't express how happy I am for you! Can't wait to hear more!

Amy said...

So I don't even know you (just saw the r house mention your blog post on FB) but I wanted to share in your bliss by posting and saying congratulations and thanks so much for sharing. And that your blog is hilarious and awesome. Toodles!

Mommy, RN said...

Kenna, I stalk you religiously. :) I'm working up enough gumption to finally comment, because I had to tell you how wonderful and exciting and congratulations!!! What a wonderful Christmas present indeed. :)

Katie said...

Kenna my heart is SO full of joy for you and Josh! What an amazing present for you guys and Harley this Christmas. I can't even imagine the love and happiness that you two are going to have together. His birth parents must love him so much to give him an amazing future. Congratulations, he's adorable!

The Winkels said...

Kenna--I don't know if you remember me or not but you used to read my infertility blog. I stalk your blog for constant inspiration. I just want you to know that I couldn't be more thrilled for you! Congratulations!

Kelda said...

I am so happy for you! What a great Christmas this'll be =) I can't even imagine what the parents are going through having to give up there child but they sure picked the perfect family!! You are going to be an awesome Mom. He's adorable, can't wait to see more pictures of him. My blog has turned into a baby book haha I'm sure yours may also ;)

David & Jessica said...

What a wonderful Christmas present!! I am so happy for your family!! You are going to be wonderful parents!

Liza A Martin said...

You don't know me, but we share a mutual friend. I have been reading your blog for the last couple of years and so many times my heart has broken and thought "why God?". I am so happy to hear that Harley is why. I am so excited to hear stories about your adventures in parenting! Congrats and may your heart be full. Praise God!

Jamie said...

Okay, I'm bawling right now. Really? REALLY?!?! Wow, I'm so happy for you guys. So happy. I hope to meet him someday. I love you, Kenna. I knew it would happen for you. Don't ever give up. Don't ever lose faith. You'll remember that, won't you? :) Lots of love to you guys!

Ron and Jessica said...

Love the pic!
I thought this info might help you - I'm not a tax accountant or anything, but I've been advised by one - you should be able to claim your adoption expenses on your taxes. If you'd like the contact info for our CPA let us know. He is great with adoptions as he is an adoptive dad. Adoption is hard enough without the financial burden as well. Best of luck!

Ron and Jessica said...

P.S. God is good!

Candice and Tim Peterson said...

Oh my gosh. That is just the news I needed to hear at that exact moment. I need to hear happy ending stories to keep me going expecially on those days that I am sick of waiting for my "right time". You and Josh hanging in there has humbled me. I am so excited for you and know that if I keep my head up and endure each day I will get my happy ending. I am so happy for you. What a blessing!

anne said...

i honestly could not be happier for you!! and we don't even know each other. you say you couldn't be luckier, but neither could harley. congrats! you deserve all the happiness that motherhood has in store for you!!! i'm excited for this new journey to begin for your little family. :)

ps he is ADORABLE!!

libby said...

congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you, and for little harley. what wonderful parents he is getting. he is one lucky boy. after everything you've been through, I'm so happy to see this come to pass for you.


Jared and Shalynn said...

What a wonderful Christmas present. He's adorable!!

The Dahle's said...

YAY! I knew you were hiding something haha. I am so so so ecstatic for you! I can't wait to meet the little guy what a cutie!

Sarah said...

Congrats Kenna! The Lord truly does bless us! I'm so excited for you guys, boys are the best! He's so cute. I'm so happy that things are looking up and working out, seems to happen when we least expect it. What a wonderful Christmas present!

PixieGirl said...

Can you post your address so I can send you a check...I have an account on paypal, but it won't recognize it or let me put in a new email...duh! I WANT TO HELP!!!

Cheree said...

Congratulations!!!!! You are going to be one awesome Mama!!!

Kim said...

I am so so happy for you!! He's adorable. Good luck with everything this weekend. Congratulations!!

Parrish Family said...

Congratulations, Kenna!! I am so happy for you! C: Enjoy your sweet little one!!

Alecia said...

wow, i can't think of anyone who deserves this more. it is SO your turn. i just feel like crying because i am so happy for you, and i've never even met you. what a lucky kid harley is to have you two as parents! and he even kinda looks like you guys! thats awesome! can't WAIT to see more pics of him!

Anonymous said...

Don't you think that maybe you should have made sure that you could afford a kid, and still have a rainy day fund BEFORE you try to adopt a child? Are you really the best thing for the kid if you can't afford to buy him clothes, food, etc? I think maybe not. Just a thought.

Stacy Stoddard said...

Congrats and what a wonderful Christmas gift Kenna.

Anonymous...Why do you have to be a jerk in a very special time in Kenna's life. It isn't like she asked to have 2 failed adoptions and asked to lose money on them.

If you don't want to help then don't but I am sure there are many people that have asked how they can help and she provided the best means for them to do so.

Ashley said...

Hey, F***tard-

First off, grow a pair of bloody balls and use your real damned name, you coward. Honestly.

Second, either you've been living in some damned la-la land and think adoption is simply about someone handing over a kid and you walking home with it or you think that perhaps they shouldn't have spent their bulk savings on two horribly failed adoptions or Kenna's treatments so she can like, you know LIVE?

Here's the deal, toots;

If you think adoption costs center on the up-front fee an agency posts, you're stupid. I don't mean "took a wrong turn" stupid, I mean the kind where your mother obviously fathered you by her brother and is too ashamed by that fact to tell you you're inbred she didn't bother to mention it to you since you're easily distracted by shiny things and baffled by pretty colors.

Kenna spent two weeks in another state. That was not only two weeks lost wages, but two weeks of spending everything they had trying to keep their daughter in their arms. Lawyers, supplies, formula, travel you name it. And because Kenna loves Kate, she didn't ask for a single penny back. Which is too bad because I still think she should have sued that punks ass for leading her on. Just saying.

Second, she has another horribly failed adoption not three months ago. More lost wages, more fees and more money that they put into a situation they believed in. They didn't get any of that money back either.

Third, Kenna has, and you can go back and look, several medical conditions which require treatments. Now, they have insurance. But there's a thing called "the insurance company won't pay for all procedures and won't pay the full amount." This means that the surgeries, medications and treatments she's had in the last six months have drained what was left of their money.

Now listen closely, dipsh*t, because I'm going to use words bigger than you're capable of understanding: this all happened in eight months.

If you worked a corporate job making $85k a year, you would not have been able to pay for all of these things out of your savings and not be struggling for the THOUSANDS they need THIS WEEK to bring their son home. If this COMPLETED adoption costs that much, think of how much they spent on their failed ones.

We had a successful adoption. We spent $15,000 in ONE WEEK CASH for everything. We had to have it up-front. That was with NO hang-ups, NO medical problems on my part, NO airfare and NO failures. I'd worked for two years, TWO. SOLID. YEARS. in a CORPORATE JOB and it BLEW our savings. ALL OF IT.

And guess what? Just like Kenna and Josh will be able to, we were able to afford our child. But being slapped with a bill that big out of seemingly nowhere is hard and you are a horrible HORRIBLE person for trying to ruin the FIRST GOOD THING TO HAPPEN TO THEM IN FIVE YEARS because you're too stupid to wipe the damned drool off your lip that's obviously shorting out your keyboard and causing you further damage to your brain then you've obviously sustained.

Go back to kissing your Uncle/Dad and piss off, you wanker. I hope to hell you can't breed.

The Mama said...

Well Anonymous- if any us of waited until we could afford it-none of us would have kids:) Let's all play nice. Ashley-you are very protective of my girl; thank you. I would choose you for my team any day.
Obviously this is a very exciting time for Josh and Kenna and for their families. We are very excited to meet the "little man."
However, I am in awe of his birth family-for the courage and unselfishness to do what they believe is best for Harley. I will be forever grateful to them for the gift they give to Kenna and Studly. Thanks all who help them financially,it is very comforting to know so many people care. I wish you all a Merry Christmas-even Anonymous.

ShannonH said...

Been thinking about you all weekend. Hope all is going well and happy. Bless you all!!

Anonymous said...

You and studly do not know me but I have been following your blog with a broken heart. There are people out there that you see and wonder "what did that innocent child do to deserve such bad parents?" I always think if people like you when I see that. Many innocent children deserve parents like you two. I cried when I saw your dream was coming true. I am so very happy for you. You will be a FANTASTIC MOM! congratulations to the whole family. The little man will bring so much love.

mrs. m said...

Love you, Ashley! Anonymous obviously has no clue. Kenna, I wish I could send you all my money! My heart is so happy for you, and your little man is adorable. Birth parents-you are amazing. Sending you lots of love!

Jen Nelson said...

What the F (first) anonymous?? Their rainy day fund hit a freaking typhoon!! That's what happened! You must be an extremely miserable person to be able to type something like that and a coward to do it anonymously. Grow some balls and get over yourself!

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