Tuesday, January 18, 2011

...harley...installment one...

now, i don't remember exactly why i agreed to go back online.

after two failed adoption attempts, it seems completely asinine to even try, i mean, EVER again to adopt.  i figured we could be "DINK's" forever and i could spend my nights sipping hot chocolate ordering whatever the hell i wanted from qvc.  (or other varying establishments, probably amazon being the biggest taker of my money)  i don't think qvc and amazon can collectively shatter my heart.  it's a pretty safe relationship.

however, it happened.  josh and i decided to put our adoption profile back online for another go.  psh, another go.  i was sure it would be another heart break, and then josh would have to admit me to the state hospital, where i could live out my days eating jell-o whilst on a thorazine drip. 

sounds lovely.

i figured that because we were chosen so fast for our other almost placements, and they felt so right and perfect, that there was no way we'd experience that again.  our wait would be long, arduous, and you know what?  i was game for that.  no more adoption drama for us, because if one more thing were to happen, i swear to everything that is green and lovely i would have jumped off a cliff.  

have i mentioned enough how one more heart break would kill me?  well, believe you me, it would have.  

we'd been online one whole week when i saw it.  the email with the subject line : FW: COUPLE_CONTACT.

safe to say i stopped breathing for at least 61 seconds.  no, really.  may have been a world record or something.  as soon as i realized my lips were turning blue i sucked in a breath and started to read...

Hello my name is Sadie. I have a one year old son named Harley. He is beautiful in every way.

insert tearsi felt something hit my chest so hard.

i screamed.  'JOSH!?'

while he was yelling back, 'what?!' i kept reading...

I saw your picture, Kenna, and I can't imagine Harley going to anyone else...that's kind of premature or blunt for me to say...but that was my initial reaction and the reason why I am so anxious to speak with you. Its for that reason that i dont cry every time I look at Harley. I imagine him there and...the idea honeslty makes me happy and it feels like I can finally breathe.

insert more tears.  lots. more. tears.

...roller coaster starts again...


installment two; coming tomorrow




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15 comments:

Alecia said...

agghhhhh you can't stop there kenna!!!! i've been dying to hear this story! so glad you are writing about it.

Shane, Meg, CJ and R-Baby said...

Amazing start to what I am sure is just going to get to be a more incredible story! Father loves you guys and all of us, that's for sure! Can't wait to hear more.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh I am sooo happy for you and totally sharing in your joy, congratulations! Can't wait to hear the rest! Keep up posted!
Shelissa

dust and kam said...

Anxious for tomorrow's installment.

xoxo

Leslie said...

Wow, I never asked you about the details of her email. How amazing that she felt such strong feelings about you. Sadie is obviously an incredibly brave and selfless person. And you and Josh are obviously the perfect people to be little Harley's parents.

Harmony said...

I agree with Alecia!

The Lynd Family said...

I agree! You're so not allowed to end these posts so quickly! We're dying here!!!!!! :P

Jessica GaleForce said...

HOLY COW!! /spirit tingles

All I can say is that there is no such thing as coincidence. I have taught this to all of the kids I have worked with in Sunday school. Its something that I truly believe. Everything happens for a reason. AND THIS is no fluke my friend.

I can't wait for the 2nd installment!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE POST IT SOON! <3

Kristin Call said...

can't wait til tomorrow. :) YAY. YAY. YAY. YAY. YAY.

The Wendler Family said...

LOVE this story already!! Incredible! I seriously CAN believe it. You were meant to be that kids mom.
Petty sure you posted this on the 17th so I'm gonna be checking your blog non-stop today for installment two! xo

Nicole said...

Love Sadie already... And do you know Cliff Hanger by chance;)

Nicole said...

Love Sadie already... And do you know Cliff Hanger by chance;)

Sherry said...

That's incredible, McKenna. You deserve this.
Congratulations!

Sherry (Cope)

Ron and Jessica said...

wow - she is truly amazing!

Shannon said...

best intro ever.

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