Thursday, January 20, 2011

...harley..installment six...

it only took six. nice.

as we descended into salt lake city, harley was curled up in my arms, the turbulence and landing rumbles rocking him to sleep.  (not to worry though, the kid is a master flyer)  Studly looked at me and said, 'what a little punk' as we would have enjoyed his slumber throughout the entire flight, not just the landing.

the flight(s) home (yes, we had to switch planes in colorado) gave me ample time to ponder how i was returned to a life that did not exist when i left.  it was unnerving, to say the least.  here i am, 25, clueless, and there is a sleeping 14 month old in my lap.  my first thoughts...

'um, what do we do when we get off the plane?  we go home?  like, with harley?'

studly said that he was pretty sure that was the idea, although we could be wrong, but probably weren't.  that's how adoption works when it works right.  you physically take the child home with you, to you know, like, live and stuff.

yeah, guess what i did?  puked.  

mmk, not really, but like every other moment of this journey i wanted to, bad.  adoption has permanently messed up my stomach...and brain.  however, when it works right, it's a beautiful thing, even if puke is involved.  

so that's what we were to do.  strap this kiddo in a car seat and take him home.  after that?  i had no clue.  feed him?  ah yes, mmk, oh, and change him probably.  these are all no brainers, obviously, the the weight of what was happening turned my head around.  oh, and by turn i mean spin fast.  i just brought home a child.  a child who was in my custody, who i was soley (with studly) responsible for.

if that isn't enough to make someone soil there pants, friends, i don't know what is.

we exited the plane.  diaper bag on one shoulder (weird) kid on the other.  as we walked out of the terminal, we see a fellow that looks just like my uncle.  

happy days, it WAS.  he was flying in from colorado to see my grandma, and just happened to get in only a half an hour before us.  my mom had told him we would be coming home with harley, and he wanted to be the first to greet us.  

lemme tell you something people, there is NO greater feeling than seeing someone you love after a 2 week adoption journey away from home.  hugs and tears and beers all around!  (okay, no beers, but hugs and tears were plentiful)  he helped us with our billion (okay six ((yes SIX checked bags)) plus carry ons)  bags as we headed for the exit, at which my darling mother and newly appointed gram was waiting.

(no judging these pictures, long flights out of san antonio at four am with a toddler.  you'd look worse...)

you'd think i hadn't seen my mom in 17 years.  

(harley is checking out his gram's sweet ride)

more tears.  lots more tears.  seeing your mom look at her grandchild for the first time will melt. your. heart.  even if it's black and icy like mine.

this DID happen.  as i type this my kid is sleeping on the couch next to me.  he sounds like a purring cat.  i've been asked if all the pain was worth it.  you know, i was scared i wouldn't be able to answer such a question, but i can.

yes, yes it was.

for those of you who are and have traveled the road i did, hope remains.  i know it sounds trite, especially  coming from someone on the, 'other side' but it's there.  something is in the works. 

when you arrive at your destination, when that child is placed in your arms, you will feel the hurt and sorrow melt off your heart.  you will take a deep breath, probably the first in a long time.  you will say, 'god is good' and offer up a thankful prayer.  in those moments you will realize that it was, indeed, worth every moment of pain.

you WILL triumph.  i promise.

we are proof.

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Leah and Alan Albright said...


Kristin Call said...


Kim said...

Beautiful story Kenna. We are so very excited for you and Josh. Enjoy every moment of the journey ahead. There will be difficult times, but there will be oh so much joy.

Tressa said...

These were great Akenna. Thank you so much for sharing. It was endearing seeing a peek in to your experience. Love you!

Jess said...

Seriously, when are you going to get your book published? I'm being completely serious, you have such a gift for writing! I am so happy for you guys, I hope you can continue to find time to blog, cause I really like to read your posts. Talk at ya later, love you and congrats!!!

Niki Burt Michael said...

And they all lived happily ever after!!

Leslie said...

Beautiful, Kenna. I am sure that your story is a lifeline for many, many people.

Jen Nelson said...

wow wow wow

Love your little family. That was the best. story. ever.


Hugs and beers!

TIM&SHAN said...

Best story I have ever read;)I know what you mean about it all being worth it;) It's true.... God is sooo good. We are so blessed.

Thank you for telling us the whole story... it was amazing to read every chapter like in a book!
We are so happy and excited for you!!!

Cali said...

I love it Kenna! Now I'm excited to see all of your posts and pictures of your family from here on!

Jessica GaleForce said...

You will never hear me say this again, but I think their maybe hope for us..........Nah! I did get really teary-eyed though, they almost spilled over. :)

blakeandcourt said...

I loved that you shared your story. It was beautiful and words cannot express how deeply happy I am for you guys!

Lynne said...

Excellent story, excellent telling of the story, excellent baby boy, excellent hair (yours). Just...excellent.

Shannon said...

this post was my favorite. Ever. Thank you, Kenna dear, for sharing.

Holly said...

Happy, happy tears. Hearing your story gives me hope.

dust and kam said...


I too wondered if it would be worth it in the end. I could not imagine that it would be.

It most definitely was. No question about that.

The Wendler Family said...

Simply Amazing. I love those pictures of you, crazy flights or no. :)
So worth it. Your story is a perfect example of going through so much and still being blessed beyond your wildest dreams. Beautiful!

Kim said...

There you go, making me cry again, but this time it's tears of joy. I'm so happy for you!

Kara said...

I don't remember how I found your blog a few weeks ago, but I have been hooked since day one. We've been trying to adopt for five years, and your story has touched me more than you can know. Thanks so much for giving me hope again!

Kristin said...

told you so :).

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