Tuesday, March 15, 2011

...my red headed miracle...

i just snuck into boog's room and kissed his sweet smelling hair. he is sleeping peacefully, breathing in, breathing out; occasionally sighing. i could lay in the chair next to his crib and listen for hours. his calm breaths, over and over, proof that he is living, that he is mine, and that he is a miracle.

most don't know that our boog was born at 27 weeks. much too early and without much chance of survival. just over 2lbs, he came into this world a fighter, and it's a trait he has never lost. he is feisty, stubborn, his own man, all at 17 months of life. every day he reminds me that he is special, deserves the best of what i can offer. that he is in so many ways a miracle.

our sweet boog shortly after birth...


i wasn't there, but my heart aches for his pain.  then, it soars with happiness, because this is our boog today...



how did i get so lucky?  

to receive such a miracle into my arms; forever.

as i'm preparing for the finality of my hysterectomy, i have moments of deep sadness and pain.  naturally it doesn't feel fair, and like the small amount of hope i held in the deepest, darkest corner of my heart is being crushed by a steam roller.  i've known for a long time that a biological child wouldn't be possible because of may reasons (i have the trifecta of infertility disorders) but you can't blame a girl for hoping, right?

so long i prayed for my miracle.  my biological miracle.  

i've been humbled, and you know what, i received my miracle.  i don't need a uterus!  or ovaries!  like i've stated before,
“biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” 

i have my miracle.


my feisty, stubborn, red headed miracle.




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14 comments:

Kerstin Daynes said...

I love red headed miracles. They are the best kind!!

Jewls said...

This post made me tear up! What a beautiful little boy...I especially love that red hair! :)

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

Thank you for always sharing, and being amazing! He is a miracle, a miracle you deserve!!

Leisha said...

Truly, truly a miracle. I heart adoption and I heart your posts.

Cali said...

Okay, crying. Just personally, I think there is a reason his life was saved, because he was meant for you all this time! ( just my thoughts). That is a precious picture of the three of you.

Shannon said...

I love Kerstin's comment. Because it is true!

Leslie said...

What an amazing little guy. How fitting that he beat the odds and found his way to the arms of a mommy who has beat some odds herself. Love him. Love you.

Kim said...

Beautiful post, beautiful miracle!!

AubreyMo said...

“biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.” Amen. I'm glad your little ginger was so strong and fought so hard to be here with you. He is such a little sweetheart and I'm glad that you have him to hold as you go through this. I hope your surgery goes well and that you're able to heal fast!

Richard and McKenna said...

Wow he really is a miracle. Your little miracle. I am sorry for what you have to face, but the outlook you have is very inspiring! Good luck with everything!

anne said...

thank you for sharing his story! what a miracle he truly is. what a miracle life is!

so glad he has found his family in you and you in him :)

good luck with your surgery!

The Dahle's said...

The funny thing is is that you BOTH are miracles! YOU Kenna are a miracle too. You both are lucky to be alive and blessed to be alive. Obviously you guys are here for a reason. Obviously he was meant to be your miracle because you are a miracle. Meant to be. Everything happens for a reason.

Stephanie said...

Chills... I love your miracle. :)

Kristin said...

I'm sad for your hysterectomy, but I hope you find that there's a bit of a relief in knowing that you don't have to think about it anymore. For me it was a relief to not feel guilty for not trying anymore.

I think it's such a blessing that you have these pictures for little studly. How great that the first part of his life won't be a mystery for him.

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