it's 12:59 am. i just made some biscuits.
that's how i roll.
sleep eludes me. i've been tossing and turning and finally got so frustrated that i did laundry, cleaned the house, and of course, made and ate some delicious biscuits. the parts of my brain that work are reeling with thoughts of, well, just about everything. we have pills for everything. i mean, you can take a pill for restless legs! so, why have these brilliant pharmacists (studly, take hint of what i'm saying so when you are finished with your grad degree you can figure this out) come up with a pill that shuts your brain down completely so we can sleep? no, drugs used for anesthesia don't count. i'm pretty sure those aren't available over the counter. oh, and you know, that whole michael jackson debacle.
rest in piece, mj. i dance in your honor.
i dare say the biggest thing going on right now, since i know you all need to be in my inner circle of life events, is we've decided to stay put for the time being. we've been planning on moving up to the big city for months now, but as our moving date has inched closer, studly and i couldn't make it feel right. at this point in time i'm sulking. yes, pathetic of me, but sometimes it's hard when you make plans to move forward and they don't work out.
wait, did i just say that? story of life, right my nickels?
we feel it's right to stay, but that doesn't mean i want to stay. i am just going to trust in what we know is right and hang out here in orem with my peeps for a while longer. now, since studly is the most amazing husband on the planet, he has let me make a list of renovations i would like to make to our place to change it up. (you see, once things stop going the way i planned my ocd kicks in and i go nuts. hence the cleaning and biscuit making at freaking one in the am) we are talking new head board for the bedroom (kristin? cam? willing to help the studly out with this one?) all new bedding, all new bedroom. make over the bathroom. carpets cleaned. base boards and trim painted. new entertainment center. rearrange and feng schui the living room. deep clean cupboards, reorganize everything in the house.
oh yes. summer project! i admit it makes me excited so i'm not too sad about the whole not moving thing.
plus, the people i love are here. if i moved more than 10 miles away from janel i'd probably die. i am super bummed about not being closer to my mom, but here is a plus, my new, bitchin' (don't tell studly i said that) car gets amazing gas mileage (unlike the jeep that used up at least a 1/2 tank when going to slc and back) so i will be visiting with the boog this summer to play.
it's the story of everyone's lives really. things don't work out probably, i'd say, 99% of the time. (mmk, that is just from my own experiences) however, it's like the quote says on the left side of my blog...
completely true. always has been, always will be.
want to know what else i've been thinking about? (of course you do, shake your head yes for me, mmk?)
did you know i cry daily? no, really. of course sometimes i do cry harsh, frustrated tears. i'm still in the midst of healing, and as i heal more physically the mental and emotional part of this surgery hit me like a rouge wave. these feelings are not easy to deal with, but i'm slowly learning to cope with my sterility. however, most of the tears are happy, joyful tears. look at my son's face. he is perfect in every way. a blessing. a miracle. next to him? my husband. my wonderful, caring, gracious husband. allow me to be completely sappy and say that there is no other like him. i'm not one to say, 'everything happens for a reason' (in fact, i dare say it never happens. mmk, no more pessimism, it happens .00017 percent of the time. i'm just a believe that mortality is a bit more random than people realize) but the lord knew i needed this man to survive. i say it over and over, but studly and boog are my life, and there is nothing in this world that compares to the life i lead with them. no matter what city, what type of lodging, as long as my boys are here, i can suck it up.
wow, i sound pathetic eh?
eesh, this isn't even a small percent of what keeps me up at night. do you all feel me on that? some nights are just bad. toss and turn and roll and end up making biscuits.
they tasted amazing.
p to the s. 26th birthday on monday. whaaat?! when in the hell did i grow up and when did i say i was cool with it?