i've skipped a few turns with the blogging game as of late. i'm not sure why, i have at least seven posts started. however, not one comes to fruition. basically i feel like i'm throwing my head against a brick wall over and over again for funsies. what a way to use my time, right?
even now i find myself staring at the screen, unsure of what to write next. i go through phases. at times the posts come easily and quickly and others it's like extracting blood from a stone. oh, and then there is pintrest.
lately life has been a little overwhelming, but i am positive that comes from slowly panning our move in august. studly and i often talk about how we will be half way through kansas and have a, 'what the hell are we doing?!' moment. the thing is, studly has been accepted to schools much closer than ohio. however, it's what feels right. for those of you who know me, you know that i like things to be easy. ohio isn't easy. it isn't convenient or close. that's usually how it goes, though, and studly and i know it will be more than worth it. my dream of being a snotty house wife who orders everything from qvc or sky mall are within my grasp.
then we have the boog.
oh, my sweet boy. take a look at how delicious he is...
you can't handle it, can you? neither can i. there isn't a day that goes by that i'm not completely amazed at how lucky i am. i know, i know, so corny, right? it's the truth. each night before i go to bed i take a minute to check on him. i place my hand on his chest so i can feel it rise and fall with his deep, sleepy breaths. i push his hair back and kiss his forehead. usually he squirms a little bit. i know it bugs him to be poked at while he is snoozing. then i sit at the edge of his bed and stare. you know, the kind of stare where if he were to wake up he would totally be creeped out. i can't help it. he is a dream. he is my dream. come to life after years of struggle, loss, and heart ache. he is a constant reminder of all that is good.
its been asked, quite often, if we plan on attempting to add another little to our family. even with the big move and other things on my mind (like how i was just called to be the 1st counselor in the young women's presidency...cracka what?!) i won't lie, we think about it. then again, we are terrified, like most adoptive couples are. the, 'what ifs' are blinding, to the point where i hide the preliminary paper work under a stack of magazines and ignore it for weeks at a time. adoption is such a beautiful thing, don't get me wrong, but it's difficult. then we have the fact that the boog is a hater of all babies. true story. from the moment he tried to launch his newborn cousin out of the bouncy chair...
my heart is full with the boog. with studly. with my life.
yet the winds of change are blowing hard through our lives right now. i have no clue what to expect.