Monday, October 1, 2012

...october baby...

my sweet boog,

i never used to enjoy october.  as summer comes to an end i find myself falling into a rut.  the days grow shorter, the sun doesn't shine into the evening hours.  the weather grows cold and i count down the days until green begins to peek through the melted snow.  it's been like this since i can remember.  

well, until you.

now, october marks your birth.  your entrance into this world; your entrance into mine.  the sun doesn't seem to disappear so quickly.  my life remains warm and bright through the coldest of days.  no longer do i beg for time to speed up as the holidays approach.  i beg for it to slow down because i know each moment will pass too quickly.  

it doesn't surprise me that you made your debut early, however, i always wish the circumstances weren't so harrowing for you and your birth mom.  boog, you were born at 27 weeks gestation.  the chances of your survival were slim.  you weighed 2 pounds 5 ounces.  you were 13 inches long; basically the length of the ruler in my desk drawer.  how lucky you are to be born at a time when medicine is advancing leaps each day.  the lord has such an important plan for you.  pardon the cliche, but you are the boy who lived.

your dad and i found out about you in october of 2010.  your first birthday.  while we only saw photos of you, we fell i love.  our hearts knew you; and you knew us.  i never thought i would bring an older child into our home but i will forever be grateful for the path heavenly father laid out for us.  after we lost kate, i lost all hope in becoming a mother.  you brought fire back into my soul, boog.  

the first year of having you in our home was nothing short of heaven.  so many firsts for all of us.  words, steps, blow outs, sleepless nights and laughter filled days.  in june of 2011 your adoption was finalized.  as we stood before the judge she spoke to us of how she read through our history and couldn't believe such a young couple had experienced such heart break.  she then spoke of how she knew we would be amazing parents to you and that she felt honored to witness such an amazing day for our little family.  a couple weeks later we gathered in the temple with our family and dearest friends as you were sealed to me and your dad for eternity.  never have i experienced such joy.  never have i felt whole; complete.  never have i felt the spirit of the lord so strongly.  boog, never has there been such a witness of the love our heavenly father has for us.  i know he loves us.  boog, i know he loves YOU.

your second birthday was filled with cake, pinatas, friends, and family.  we celebrated your birth, your birth mom, and the amazing miracle you are.  it was fun for me since i'd never planned a birthday party before.  i confess i spent way more than i told your dad i was going to.  it's not every day a mom gets to throw a massive birthday bash to cover two birthdays in one.  i remember tearing up as i realized how big you were getting.  how it seemed you'd be ready to face the world on your own.

this past year has been nothing less than spectacular.  you've come into your own, my strong boy.  your curiosity for life is ever flowing.  you are smart and sharp; so sweet and kind.   you have adapted to parents who don't know what they are doing but trying their best.  you are a champ, a goof, a genius.  i've watched you grow into a little boy.  i admit i mourn for the days i was not in your life and also for the days that are behind us now.  however, i cannot wait to see what you will become.  your dad and i pray we can lead you to the things that will benefit you the most.  that we can help you cultivate the talents you have been born with.  that we can make you proud to call us your mom and dad.  

on this, your third birthday, i can say that my life is so much better because you are in it.  all the struggle we faced before you, while still present, doesn't wound the soul like it once did.  you are a healing salve.  you are special and every. single. person. who knows of your existence knows it.  

my son, you are nothing short of my everything.  

happy birthday.

love,

mama 




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13 comments:

Trent and Janel Lyman said...

Happy Birthday Boog!! Wish we could be there to party with you. You are such a fun little guy, we miss you here!! I'm sure you will be spoiled rotten today, as you should be. You are one lucky little guy, you have so many people who love you!

Whitney said...

Happy Birthday Boog! What a handsome, handsome, little man. I seriously would love to go shopping with you someday because your little guy is always dressed so dang cute! Boog is M's style icon.

I really loved this post. I got a little choked up reading your letter to your sweetheart. What a precious, miracle boy he is! How blessed you all are to have found one another.

ShannonH said...

Awww, he's such a cute guy. I've decided to cancel all further birthdays in our kids lives - no more growing up! On the other hand, it's pretty fun to plan and celebrate them, maybe we'll hold off on the cancelling after all. Hugs!

Julia said...

This is absolutely beautiful!
You're amazing.
I aspire to be like you.

J

Layla said...

Happy birthday, Boog!!

Kylie said...

Walt is trying to wave at boog through the screen. Thought you should know. Happy Birthday boy!

brian and amanda said...

happy birthday, boog! you are a cutie!

Erin said...

Happy belated birthday Harley man! His life and yours (you and josh) have been nothing short of miraculous. But then to intertwine the two.....no words. Just dumbfounded beauty. Love you kenna!

Erin said...

Happy belated birthday Harley man! His life and yours (you and josh) have been nothing short of miraculous. But then to intertwine the two.....no words. Just dumbfounded beauty. Love you kenna!

Erin said...

Happy belated birthday Harley man! His life and yours (you and josh) have been nothing short of miraculous. But then to intertwine the two.....no words. Just dumbfounded beauty. Love you kenna!

Kristin said...

Beautiful post and stinking cute picture!

Emily Cureton Booth said...

My turn to stalk your blog now ;) This is beautiful and you seem to have such a sweet family. I think we Ohioans are lucky to have you!

Sam and Lacey said...

Loved it Kenna! What a little fighter. He is such a cute little guy. I love his red hair. He reminds me of my little guy. You are a great mom and inpiration to many.

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